btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
