So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
tell me about the eggs
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize