we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize