Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
well you can't waste a boner
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
