I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
and she was petting her beer can
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
