Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
