the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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