JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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