I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize