I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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