Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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