Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
