I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
