What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
