At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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