Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize