i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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