After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
