are you so shy because you have an std?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just invented taco cereal.
Mom said you looked used
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
