Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
