the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
