I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
