omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
