I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
