If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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