Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
