Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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