So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
