I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
