I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
