He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
