hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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