Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
