he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
