Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
