And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
