No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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