Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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