Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
