lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I came so hard my ears popped.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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