yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
