Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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