If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
