I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
