he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Damn victory sex feels great
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
