you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
