We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
