Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
