i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
