What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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