Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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