If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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