broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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