I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
