I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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