I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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