The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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