The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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